Five Ways to Care for Yourself that cost $0
So often the idea of self-care comes with a price tag — and we weigh the cost against other things we need to do. But cost and trade-offs are the opposite of what self-care is about. Self-care is about paying attention to what you want or need, and making some effort to act on that information. It’s about not letting yourself be last in line for your own time and attention.
It doesn’t have to be expensive, either. Actually, treating yourself kindly can be one of the most cost-effective things you can do! Here are five ways to care for yourself that cost you exactly zero dollars:
Breathe
Yes, I know this sounds obvious, but how often do you go through our day without any attention to your breath? And then when you finally sit down on that yoga mat and the teacher tells you to take a big belly breath, you think, “This feels so good! Why don’t I do this all the time?” The answer is that you stop noticing your breath because you are engaged with something that is not your immediate experience — in other words, you are busy thinking about anything but yourself. A simple way to come back to your experience is to notice your breath.
What is it doing? If it’s out of control, shallow or stilted, take a minute to address it.
Let the breath reach and fill your belly.
Let it reach your perineum and soften it.
Let it expand to reach your feet.
Breathing can feel delicious if you can slow down enough to notice, and doing this is absolutely a way of caring for yourself.
Tidy Up a Supportive Space
What? Do an annoying chore and call it self-care? Well, no, that’s not what I’m suggesting. Some chores are the opposite of self-care - for example, I hate folding my family’s laundry because it’s thankless and unfulfilling. This is not the kind of tidying I’m talking about. I’m talking about tidying up a space that supports your wellbeing. This can be a hobby station, a meditation corner, the kitchen or maybe the garden. For me, it’s my meditation bench in the corner of my bedroom. This is a space I use to support my wellbeing, where I go to focus on myself. It’s common for junk to pile up next to it, for my phone charger and other cords to wind their way into the space, for random documents to litter up the space because I’m too busy or scattered to put everything away. When I clean up this space it’s like I’m saying “Hey, meditation is important to me — I’m going to make sure there is nothing in the way of it.” It’s like I’m preparing for an honored guest, and that guest is myself. After I’ve cleaned up my meditation space I feel like I’ve given myself a big hug.
Fantasize!
Self-care isn’t all about prudent and sober decisions for the sake of your own self-regulation. It can (and must!) be wild and fun too. I invite you to spend at least 15 minutes answering the question:
If you could make anything at all happen, what would you do?
At first it might not be so easy to come up with something (“I don’t know, pay my bills?”) but stick with it. After your bills, what then? Okay, now what if you could fly? What if you could travel to the end of the galaxy? What if you could ask God himself what the hell he was thinking when he invented mosquitoes? You can get really wild with this — go as far and wide as you want. Do you want to date a movie star? Imagine it. Do you want to roll around in a pile of oversized puppy dogs? Say it. Talk about it as if it’s happening right now: “And now I’m jumping in! And they’re rolling all over me and now I’m completely surrounded by fluffy puppies! But… they are not the licking kind of puppies.” (this may or may not be an actual example from the last time I did this exercise).
Of course this sounds fun, but is it really self-care? I would argue that this is self-care at its finest. So often we spend our days carrying out the work of others, doing things that don’t make us feel good. We spend our mind power on dollars and numbers and workflows and logic. The part of us that loves to play and wish and want gets starved most of the time! Fantasizing like this opens up the a flood of silly joy, and it heals and rejuvenates. Oh, and of course it costs you nothing but a bit of time.
Do Something Nice for the Bratty, Lazy Person You Are Sometimes
We all have the lazy brat voice inside. It says, “But I don’t wanna,” or “Tomorrow!” or better yet, “Someone else should do this for me!” We all feel this way — if you’re like me you feel this a lot, and you spend a significant chunk of your day overcoming it so you can get anything done. Well, for our next act of self-care, I invite you to stop fighting with that voice. Instead, think of what that lazy brat will want tomorrow, and then preemptively do it! For example, if your lazy voice thinks someone else should prepare his food, then go ahead and be that other person — prepare a meal for him to eat tomorrow, so when he says “I don’t wanna make lunch!” he doesn’t have to. Not only is this a caring thing to do for yourself, it is a practice of self-acceptance: you take a break from fighting against your inner lazy brat, and instead embrace him.
Massage Your Hands
This is the easiest one on the list: just grab your hand and start to rub it. Use your thumb to press firmly into the meaty parts of your palm, as well as in between the bones. Look for tense, rigid areas and gently work to soothe and release them. This feels divine. Doesn’t this make you wonder why we are not taught to massage our own bodies, why we don’t naturally give ourselves all kinds of soothing touch? Most of us love massage, and most of our bodies can literally massage themselves, and most or all of the time we choose not to! Self-massage is a way to say to yourself, “Hey there, self, your body matters and I’m here to make it feel good.”
At its core, self-care is about having a gentle and accepting inner environment, a good and supportive attitude toward your own needs and wants. Cultivating this takes time and concerted effort because we have been taught not to do things like this and many of us are quite uncomfortable being kind to ourselves. But it isn’t as difficult or expensive as it may seem. Mostly it takes intention and a little bit of time. I daresay you have those two things at your fingertips.
So please, feel free to use these exercises as often as you like — my treat!
