Daily Joy Requirements

We have all heard of daily requirements - for calories, exercise, sleep, and more. But have you noticed that these requirements pertain to our physical body only, and have nothing to do with our quality of life?

I have an invitation for you: consider incorporating Daily Joy Requirements into your routine. I created this handy-dandy schematic that will help you to notice the joys you already have and cultivate more, until joy is a natural and expected part of your life.

Think of each section as a minimum daily requirement — unlike with food, exercise and other physical requirements, with joy there is no harm in overdoing it! Also, the order in which you meet these requirements does not matter. It is not like you need to start at the bottom and work your way up. The sections have a logical flow to them — they relate to each other and build upon each other, but using the schematic is quite simple — just meet your minimums every day for each section. That’s it.

How do you do that? Let’s start at the bottom.

Notice Sparks of Joy (15+)

A spark of joy is a nice feeling that comes when you encounter (or think about) something, someone, or a situation. It’s not something you can consciously do, it just happens in response to certain situations. Still, it is not hard to find sparks of joy. If you look around the room you’re sitting in, you should be able to find a handful of things that give you joy. I’ll use my own situation as an example. I’m sitting in my bedroom, typing. If I look up at my wall I see a tote bag that I picked up at a concert. I’m reminded of how much I enjoyed the concert and I get a little zing of wellbeing, a spark of joy. Next to that is a picture of me with a dear girlfriend, smiling happily — the thought of her gives me a little burst of love, an excited joy — another spark. If I look a little farther away, I see my cat contentedly licking herself. I am overcome with joy and love for her and I smile just thinking of how funny she can be sometimes. So in about 30 seconds, and without even getting up, I was able to find three sparks of joy. That is how easy it can be.

This happens all the time — when you smell your morning coffee, when the shower temperature is just right, or when the dog tilts her head in just the right way. The challenge is not in having the sparks of joy, it is in noticing them and recognizing their importance.

So for this section, I ask you to consciously point out 15 instances of joy in your life. This may not be easy at first, especially if you don’t think of yourself as a joyful person or you have a lot of frustration or sadness in your life, but stay with it. Look around. If you have a pet, notice how you feel when you’re around your pet. If you have a favorite plant, or pillow, or place to rest, start there. Write down where you feel sparks of joy, and make sure you have at least 15 by the end of the day.

Joyful Activities (5+)

This section is about acting on those sparks of joy from the previous section. It is about courting joy in the places you are likely to find it. It is about recognizing the value of joy and making room for it. I recommend at least five instances of this, but of course as time goes on you’ll want to do a lot more than that. I’m not talking about grandiose gestures, though those are allowed. You don’t have to go for a 90 minute massage in order to check off one of these daily requirements (though please do not let me stop you from doing that). Joyful activities are not difficult, expensive or inaccessible. For example, if the sight of a perfectly formed cookie gives you joy, then a related joyful activity would be to make or buy a perfectly formed cookie. Another joyful activity would be to listen to an album from your favorite artist, or walk your dog near that pretty river you like, rather than through the neighborhood like usual. Organize your cutlery drawer into satisfying lines. Buy new underwear. Sing karaoke.

Write down your joyful activities and say a little about how it was for you. For extra credit, write down why you think that particular activity worked for you that day.

Sharing Joy (2+)

Sharing Joy is about letting the joy you’re noticing and cultivating be seen and known. This is about sharing your joy with the world — bringing others into your joy-o-sphere: owning your joys and expressing them.

This means sharing those cookies you baked, or excitedly telling your friend about a song you love (and why you love it), or showing your child your favorite spot at the beach. It can be as simple as telling your partner about an activity that was fun, or as complex as buying your friend a ticket to your favorite music festival. As long as you’re talking about your joys, you are doing it right.

It can be vulnerable to share your joys with others, especially if you think you might be judged, that your loves are silly/weird, or that most people don’t enjoy the same things you do. I encourage you to share your joys with trusted others, people who are likely to receive it well; sharing with unsupportive people can be alienating and it really isn’t the point here. If you really can’t find anyone appropriate, try searching online for that little pocket of the internet where a whole group of strangers love the same thing you do. Make a post or a comment confessing your joy. Checking back for their response is optional; the point is really just to express it and let it be seen.

I have a fun example of this. I love the music of Delta Goodrem. It brings me enormous joy — I feel like nearly every song was made just for me. When she releases a new song I rush to listen to it and I take the whole thing in like it’s a delicious dessert. My family really does not understand this, despite my many attempts to explain! So on a lark, I decided to capture my reaction to a new song and share it on YouTube. I just plopped it up online and hoped that someone out there would appreciate it as much I did and to my great surprise, the video was viewed over 2000 times in the span of just a few weeks. Since then I’ve made many more such videos — bringing me (and a whole bunch of Australian strangers) fountains of periodic, incredibly niche, joy. Who could have guessed?

I recommend at least two instances of Sharing Joy every day. Write down who you chose to share with, why, and how it went. As with the other sections, the more you do this, the easier it will become.

Joy-based Insight (1+)

At the very top of the pyramid is a reflection or insight about your unique interpretation, experience, and/or expression of joy. This is a chance to review what you wrote for the other three sections and look for patterns, threads or themes.

Are your joys food-based? Do they relate mostly to the outdoors, to animals, or other people? Which joys are the most intense? Which are you losing interest in? How is it to share your joys and loves with other people? Why do you think that is? What else do you notice about your experience of joy?

Interpreting the whys of your personal joy-data will help to create a positive feedback loop — to turn little joy snowballs into an avalanche of wellbeing.

Here are some examples of my own joy-based insights:

• I love baby things - humans, animals of all kinds, even plants.

• I enjoy dinner dates, not because I especially love food, but because I deeply enjoy one-on-one conversation.

• It makes me really happy to have the right color pen when I’m journalling. If I’m angry, I like to use red. If I’m loving, I like to use pink. Writing in the color of my emotion sparks joy and satisfaction for me.

These insights are not overwhelmingly informative, but they don’t have to be. One insight leads to another. For example, knowing that I like to use color to represent my emotions made me curious about working with different art media — could I use color to represent emotion with paint as well? That opened a whole set of new questions for me about what exactly it was about using color that brought me joy, and it also unlocked a new joy-generating hobby.

In many ways, the other sections exist only to inform this one.

This insight will also be the starting point of your day tomorrow, when the Daily Joy Requirements reset and the whole process begins again.

Try this out for one week and see what happens!